I really need to post!

I really need to post. I really need to post. Hi-Ho The Dairio, I really need to post!

One of my students was taking a test after school today and I burst into random songage about not wanting to do any of my work.

See, I miss the fact that I don't miss blogging. I don't know if it had to do with being around Keeks 24/7 . . . or just the fact that my living arrangments have been a bit different this year. Hmmmm. . .

I have had ideas, interesting ones actually; about listening to people cheer (especially at bowling meets - it makes me laugh but is also highly enjoyable). And there were other ideas too. I just don't know where they went.

But I try not to spend too much time at home. And when I'm here I want to chill out. Or my computer is being dumb - there's got to be some reason why if I download Service Pack 2 from Windows that my modem stops working . . . I just haven't figured out what it was.

Here's a little bit of LMM to tide you over, or at least make my page more interesting. Or at least fresh . . .

Old Photos

I just got to my parent's house this evening for Thanksgiving break. My mom has the usual in a pile in "my" room, random newspaper clippings of people from high school that are married or engaged, more random things that she is saving for me in case I need them, something that my dad wants me to like even though I don't. All this and an envelope addressed to me from one of my best friend from high school's moms.

Is it sad that I automatically knew that 11 years ago I must have left the 6th grade yearbook at her house from a sleepover that my friends had? I vaguely remember wanting to see how those oh so attractive high school boys had looked like when we were in middle school.

As I looked through the yearbook a lot of things hit me: "Man, look at that hair," "I thought those teachers were so cool!" along with much other randomness. What amazed me, however, was the emotion that clenched at my heart when I saw some of those faces: That boy was so-o-o-o-o cute!, Oh, yeah - that girl was really sweet - we had that one class together where we did that one project. Oooohhh! That's the girl I was best friends with that one year. All of these seem to be normal reactions to a middle school yearbook.

The one that got me was the "Mean Girls." I know that the whole Lindsay Lohan flick was satirical. But I looked at some of those girls and my emotions went - ick - she was MEAN! There was that girl that I got into my one and only girl fight with (I liked her boyfriend (a lot), he didn't like me, he was dating her, they both fit into that "bad kid" persona and then there was nice little Lisa)(She ended up pulling my hair or something by the 6B hallway when our class was moving for something. All I remember is a lot of hairpulling (I wonder if I pulled her bangs - this was back in the day when they were sprayed 7 inches on top of your head . . . hmmm)

I thought it very interesting that I still remember the "mean girls" of my middle school - they seemed so vicious back then. I wonder if they were . . .

The In Between Times

In Lisa’s Philosophy of Life, there are many different thoughts. Some are profound, some are weird. But they all make me think. And here’s what I’ve been thinking.

In life’s journey we have these “between times,” a stage of life when we are between one ending and a beginning. These times may be looked forward to times of growing in our lives but as far as I’m concerned they usually pretty much stink. Example:

When I graduated from high school I was so excited about all the things that come with being an adult; going to college, living in a community life, making new friends, deciding which classes I was going to take. But there was a period in there for about 6 months when life sucked. I went to community college and had to watch all my friends go off to college while I stayed in my parents’ house, drove 45 minutes to and from school everyday and stayed at the same job I had in high school. After those six months I started making my niche in the world of community college and was as happy as a bee.

Same happened when I transferred colleges. It took about six months of being on campus to figure out what was going on. And such with other major changes in my life like graduating from college and moving out on my own in a new city. These times are my in between times.

That’s where I am right now; an in between stage. One of the hardest things about this one is that I didn’t see it coming. Granted, even if they are coming and I know it I avoid thinking about it (just as my parents about how much I had packed up my room the day I graduated from college).

In the past, when I have hit one of these “in betweens I’ve known what to look forward to, as well as recognizing that I was leaving something behind. The thing that is so scary about this one is that not only did I not see it coming (pretty much completely blind-sighted) I have no idea what to look forward to and how to be hopeful about it. When you get to college you know that you’ll eventually find someone who really is that close friend. When you graduate you have the thrill of moving out getting your own place, paying your own bills and all that comes with that.

Now, I have moved out of my dream house – an opportunity to live with my best friends and help to forge a community that supported each other through many things. I’ve accomplished all those dreams that I seem to have control over. My “Lisa Plan” is at a standstill. You know, the plan to graduate with an education degree, teach English while living in a house with some really amazing Catholic girls, have lots of friends plan. The next step of the “Lisa Plan” is to get married, have many babies, be an excellent mom and write a book someday. I’m thinking I need to come up with some new goals (or start writing that book, I guess, would be good too). I just wish I had some clue about what this in between time was prepping me for.

Up and at em!!

My dad thought it would be a great idea to install Windows XP on my computer - and now it's really pretty. It did, however, take me a while to figure out how to install my wireless card. But I figured it out (who would have known that unplugging a device would assist in the instillation? . . .).

Now, I have access to the internet on my very own computer! It feels like it's been years. How very dependent I am on technological communication.

To catch you up, in my absence I have:
- bought a new car - really cute one too! Pontiac Grand Prix - she still needs a name . . .
- bought an aquarium for my classroom. I have five fish, Jem & Scout (Jem's in his sullen stage and keeps hiding behind the mountain) and 3 little pink girls named Bianca, Kate and Julie - Shakespeare anyone?
- did a complete cleaning of the duplex - yes, Kristi, I even washed the bathroom floor - aren't you proud?

I'm sure lots of other things happened but that's all I got for now! I must go continue cleaning - more dusting-ish type stuff and decluttering. The piles are horrendous.

Too Depressing . . .

If you couldn't tell, Amarillo has just been too depressing to think about much less blog out the entirety of my 4 1/2 hour stay in what is now my least favorite city in the former country of Texas - where everything is big, including the amount of time you have to wait for the Greyhound.

Come to think of it, the past few months of my life would make a great country song. With a twist - My car died (not my dog), the only guy semi interested lives in PA and apparently I didn't measure up to his standards on the "phone interview" - didn't really seem like a phone call. What else . . . I live with a little white dog who doesn't mean to cause any harm. Oh, yeah, my car's lights keep going out. First a headlight that the guy changed for free for me at the Wally World, then a tail light that was fixed by the husbands. Not my husbands, mind you, but my guy friends (most of whom seem to be married to my friends by now) kindly helped me fix in a dark driveway. Oh, and I lost my cell phone. . .

But - the reason this post sounds cheerful is not because of all of that . . . it's because things are looking up. My aunt and uncle were my saviors tonight. They gave me one of their old phones to use. And, I went to target and found pillowcases to match the sheets I bought in February. And, when I got home Marianna said that they found my cell phone!! I don't have to plug all 130+ numbers into a new phone!! Yeay!!

For those of you wondering . . . maybe someday I will share the end of my crazy adventure of a Greyhound bus trip. For now, however, just be glad that you can't say you spent 4 1/2 hours stuck in an ugly bus station w/ a black lady fondly named "Grandma," a semi doped up middle aged woman wanting desperately to see her kids and a couple of hoodlem smoker guys along with the 14 yr old kid that reminded you of your friend's little brother.

Thank you, God for normal 14 year old kids.

I wonder if he smokes pot on the side . . .

My Summer Vacation Part II: The Bus

Notice: The writing of this post tells the world that I am a naive lower middle class snob who is afraid of weird people. This might not follow my feelings at all times, but it was true for this bus ride!

I have always looked at alternative forms of transportation as exciting new things to experience. I remember my first train ride. Our Girl Scout Troop rode from KC to Columbia and we thought it was a blast. My first train ride in Europe was really neat too, looking at the countryside of Italy.

Greyhound sounded like an adventure. A somewhat creepy adventure, but an adventure nontheless.

On the way to the bus stop I was sitting in the back of my grandparents' truck and I saw a rainbow. I thought to myself, "All right, Lisa, you can do this, God has promised to never leave you." And boy am I glad.

We ended up waiting for the bus for an hour, it was late. It was my grandparent's, a 50some year old nurse who lives in New Mexico and rides the bus to Dallas every two weeks to be a nurse who seemed fairly normal, and this guy. He meandered into the bus station looking a little tired. He had shoulder length crazy hair, an unkept beard, a backpack that looked as if it held all he owned in the world and was wearing a pair of shorts that just wouldn't stay up, an old rock band tshirt and a pair of crocs so worn there was a hole in the bottom. Today's hippie to the extreme! We found out that he was born in Guam and that his parent's lived there but were not involved in the military. He said it all creepy like they were in the mob or selling dope or something.

I finally boarded the bus which is almost completely first. My grandma told me to sit as near the front as possible. I didn't see any seats (but nurse lady got one right behind the bus driver - how did she see it when I missed it?) Scary hippy man sat next to this little girl who looked really nice and I felt kind of bad for her - I would not have wanted to sit with him! I kept going on the bus and toward the back I found a seat next to a younger Black woman. (in trying to be PC in my completely nonPC post, that's what I hear we're supposed to call them). She was a bit bigger but didn't look as scary as the punk guys sitting in front of her (one of whom turned out to be a girl I was astonished to find at a bathroom stop) who were wearing all black as well as spiky earings. I settled down beside "B" (I never actually learned her name but her ticket had a name that started with "B" and tried to sleep. Being the Catholic girl that I am, I started praying a Rosary - the 20 decade kind.

Things were all good until we got to Amarillo. Amarillo by Morning. Amarillo where I had to switch buses. Amarillo, the bus station that hasn't been redecorated since the 50's and the silk flowers that deck the vanities (yeah, the furniture kind with the big mirror and drawers) haven't been dusted since at least twice that long. Amarillo, the bus station right by the Bail Bond office in downtown! Just wait and see!!

My Summer Vacation Part 1: An Unlikely Angel

I would never have thought that a little old marine could be an angel. But I think I met one last week.

Imagine a hot day. It's 100+ degrees out (I know, not hard to imagine with this weather)and you are on your way to Grandma's house. You've been looking forward to a week of good eating, sitting on the porch and playing with a yappy (albeit cute - yes Nate, I probably spelled that wrong:) dog. You're less then 20 minutes from "home" as Grandma's house is known to be when you live there that week in the summer. And your beloved 1995 Ford Contour overheats on the side of the road.

Ok, ok, yep - that's the beginning of my tale. I waited for a while to see if the engine would cool down - seriously, I just got it checked out before I left. I made a few phone calls. And I headed back out on the road.

About 10 minutes later, after rolling the windows down and running the heater - supposedly it's supposed to blow cool air on your engine? I was stuck once again. I pulled off on the side of the road and got on my phone. Cell phones are my friend, let me tell you.

I hadn't been there very long when an old Jeep pulled up. "Please, God, don't let this be some scary man!!" was my prayer. And he wasn't. He was, however, a short little man with weathered skin and a WWII US Marine Corps hat on. He didn't seem as scary as he could be and he took a look at my car. We decided to have my grandparents come pick me up (I'd already been talking to them). And I got to talking to my angel. His biker son and his biker wife pulled over to make sure we were OK. He told me a couple of war stories and offered me a cigarette. "I wouldn't want to leave my wife or daughter here by themselves, who knows what scary (place racist name for illegal immigrants here) are running around. I smiled as best I could and said, "Thanks, would you mind sticking around for a while? I have some water in the car." He stayed. He smoked. He calmed my nerves - you can't really freak out in the middle of the open 100 degree road with a very old Marine looking after you now, can you? And he was my unlikely Angel.

Stay tuned for some more of Lisa's summer vacation!!!
Look out for mechanics, mullets and many marauding (word starting with "M" that means people) making their way to multiple destinations stranded in Amarillo, TX.

Now school might not be so bad!!

Too fast

My summer time is slipping away oh so quickly!! Soon my life will be planning and grading and planning and grading. And talking. A lot. Everyday. And being grammatically correct while I do so. Ick.

Don't get me wrong, I love teaching. I also love the summer and staying up as late as I want to and getting up whenever I feel like it. I like the lazy evenings sitting around and talking to friends. The thing is, however, since it has actually been my summertime (for the past month) I haven't done much of the sitting around with friends. I've had a lot of Lisa time. And I've been doing lots of stuff. But I haven't chilled so much as I would like to.

I went to the Cathedral for Mass on Tuesday. On the way home I had to take a detour (Kellogg was once again closed). I ended up stopping by Kathy's and having an amazing talk with her, then going by Erin's to grab a couple hugs and chat while she did her laundry. It was such a great afternoon!

I was home for the past two days and my mom and I found a karaoke on demand channel on their cable. I think we spent about two hours jamming together singing all the songs that we knew (or at least thought we knew). IT was great. Neither one of us has a clue as to much of how "You are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder goes. But we had a rocking version of "Monday Monday" by the Mommas and Pappas!! The cat just looked at us like we were out of our minds:)

I'm leaving to see my grandparents in CO on Sunday - I'm so excited! I'm not that excited about getting back. I have to start being a real person with a real job again!! Ah, well. I get to be a mentor for our new English teacher and that is pretty exciting!!

Two years and a Month

My blog has been around for two years and a month! And, as I read back over the entries (as I have been doing for the past half hour, I realize that I need to go make the bread for dinner so that it's ready when we eat it. . . so after Marianna has made bread and I looked for a stray packet of yeast, we have some kneading going on). Oh, yeah, sentence. As I read over my entries, I am struck once again by how much I have changed in the past two years.

I went from having very few friends to having a multitude of really great friendships. I went from being a 1st year teacher to approaching my fourth year of teaching. I have gone from being not really sure who I was, to having a pretty good handle of who I am and what makes me click. At least I think so anyway.

Jose's words of wisdom were once "You know, Lisa, you won't be a Daisy Girl forever." At the time, last December, my life was a little up in the air and his words freaked me out more than a little. Who wanted to take away my house and my girls and my sense of being? I had applied to teach overseas. My roommate was getting married, we didn't know what was going to happen to the Daisy House and I thought for a while I was called to be a nun. Oh, the drama that insues during our lives.

Now it's July. And I live in a really cute duplex with my friend Marianna. I made it through teaching summer school and the world is looking like a nice place to be. I don't feel the need to be searching for something new. I found out that I am not supposed to be a nun, even though their lives never cease to amaze me. I don't need anything for our duplex - although a really comfy reading chair in a sage green that is reasonably inexpensive would be nice. I am starting to get excited about school - even though I haven't been out for that long:). And the fact that there is no boy right now is all right with me. That kind of weirds me out, however. I'd like there to be a boy. A man, really, who I'll get to have kids with someday (speaking of kids, I had a dream where I was 9 months pregnant and playing with the babies feet inside my tummy - should this weird me out?). But for right now, he's not here and that's ok.

I guess it's a feeling of contentment. Not completely, of course, but enough to want to sit back and enjoy life for a while. And enjoy some Lois and Clark while I'm at it - that was such a great show!!

This doesn't seem to be much of the late anniversary post that it should, but it is what it is and I'm all right with that:)

Late Lisa

Alas, once again the hecticness of June - why is it always thus? - has made me miss my blog-aversary!! So sad . . . tear. I will however, post a late blogaversary blog in honor of the occassion very soon!

Bittersweet

I started this post last week but the craziness off life and TEC and family overwhelmed me for a few days. I still, however, wanted to post it:)

~

That is how I feel. It hasn't completely sunk in that the Daisy House is no longer ours - I think because I don't want it to. So I am deciding - as of this moment - not to make it a big deal. This is advise I got over a year ago from a wise and caring friend at a moment that was a teansy bit ackward. "Don't let it be a big deal." So this is what I will try with my house. I don't think the whole - I'll stay up as late as possible and make myself as exhasted as possible so I'll fall asleep will work forever.

~

About a week later, it's still a little weird - I can't tell whether living at the SLC for three days was a help or hinderance to feeling at home in our new place. I still, however, picture Kim at home at our house cleaning the kitchen or in my room planning Steubenville stuff. Sad day . . . and yet I think I can find peace with it, at least with the help of my friends and Daisy Girls:)

On much less sappy note, we are having a housewarming party tomorrow at the duplex - dubbed L&M's (Lisa and Marianna's) and you all should come!!

On the Highway of Life

Dumb Internet quiz that I found humerous for some reason . . .

Every person is at a different point on a different highway of life. Where are you?
As we cruise down the highway of life we come across many metaphorical destinations, some good some bad. Our individual personalities lead us all down a different path. Let this magical personality test tell you where you are headed! Just punch in your name and soon you will be rolling past the roadsign of your life. Don't forget to drive carefully! What are the towns on your highway? Be sure to drop in and visit them all, because life is a journey that we should all cherish. Peace!

His Daisy Girl Highway
Bog of Eternal Marriage 8
Family Farm 16
Hobotown 46
Tower of Commitment 113
Childbirth Hospital 482
Please Drive Carefully

Promises

I got home from Angels last night and was chilling out watching some Everwood. After watching the greatness that was the series finale, I looked up the DVD at Wal-mart and bought the bargain that was $19.95. I think that, at least in my world, DVD'd TV shows are much cheaper than paying for cable. Besides that, I don't have to worry about missing anything!

But, I'm off on an LMM before I start! The episode I watched last night is called "Snow Job" - not as in the Italian job or the job that I am going to be done with in only 3 school days, but as in Job of the Bible that lost everything.

It was interesting, because before I watched it I read a journal entry that I wrote this spring about the promises God has made to me. He guarantees some pretty rocking stuff. Sometimes it seems too good to be true. But sometimes the promise of things to come seems to be the only thing that gets us through . . . the promise that summer school really will be over on Wednesday when all my kids get done with their presentations, the promise that though the Daisy House will be a memory in a week I really will still have friends, the promise of someday when I get to be grown up and be a mommy and have a family.

Ok, so I didn't mean for this to be sentimental and sad. Ok, realistically maybe I did.

So what does this mean? On Wednesday I will be done teaching summer school!! On Thursday I will spend my last night in my Daisy House. On Friday I will pray our last DH rosary in our Daisy House living room. But also on Friday Marianna and I will spend our first night (ok, my first night) at the duplex. And then, I might actually get to start my summer vacation!

Speaking of which, we need to do something neat for the 4th of July - I need to see some fireworks!!

Friends

I was at a friend's wedding last night. The only reason I know Ben at all is because my friends are friends with him - you know how that works. We talk when we see each other but we wouldn't ever call and make plans to hang out.

Aside from my two best friends from college that came down for the wedding, all of the people that I knew yesturday fit into that category. I had a blast hanging out with them. I heard college stories that I'd never heard. (LMM - Sarah and I called ourselves "floaters" in college because we didn't really have "our" group. We were both transfer students who never found just one group of people to hang out with, we hung out with whoever we saw first or in someone's room. Hanging out with people was a very sporadic thing.) Add all this to the fact that I got to be a super senior in college and, after a few of my groups graduated with "my" class of 2002, I hung out with members of the class of 2003 (my actual graduating class) . . . end of LMM).

Sometimes this whole group hopping thing isn't all it cracks up to be. I don't necessarily get invited to that many things from college. But, it seems that there are just certain times when I hang with people and it all seems right and peaceful. I got that opportunity last night. I saw people I haven't seen since college or other weddings/Homecomings/random other events when you see people. I found out that my friend Kandace actually lives in town, about 10 minutes away from me - and has for the past year. I heard stories and told stories and drank and laughed.

And it was peaceful. I guess that's the thing I wasn't really expecting. I had a crappy day at work yesturday and it was amazing to get to "be" with people that I don't normally get to hang out with. It was, with all the hecticness of moving out in 3 weeks, stupid job stuff and other volunteer stuff that just keeps coming, a very nice evening.

I just have to say

that I know it annoys some of you when you put the beginning part of the sentence in the title and the rest in the body of the blog.

But I really wanted to blog that there are only 16 days left of summer school! And friends, I am excited.

New Resolution

I don't really understand resolutions because they don't usually work. But, I thought I'd try again just to see.

My new resolution is this - to not like a guy until I know what his quirky weirdness is. Because we all have quirky weirdness. Like mine tonight. We went for a walk by the Arkansas river (notice it is not spelled "our-kansas") and we decided to go up to the street and cross the bridge. I couldn't (partially possibly due to keeks' last post) get the Sound of Music out of my head. I had images of Liesel and Marta jumping up and down the stairs and I just couldn't stop singing!! So, do, la, fa, me, re do . . . It's just such a great movie.

Oh, yeah . . . resolution. I, like many girls that I know, form crushes fairly easily. Then I get carried away and when he has only asked me to dance, I dream that we are going to get married someday and live in a little house outside of town with a white picket fence and 2 car seats and a minivan - or at least an SUV. My resolution is this: before I develop this head over heals crush (on a guy who will flirt with me and dance with me and offer to drive me home from fun parties but never asks me out) (note - no bitterness here . . .) I will figure out his quirk.

So many times I have developed a big crush and then, once I find that quirk I think, hello - he drives me crazy, how could I ever like him? But here is my dilema. Will I ever find a guy that doesn't annoy me just a tad? I really don't think so. I kindof hope he does annoy me a little. Or else it would be weird. Because he wouldn't be weird. He would be normal then - and we wouldn't fit because I'm just so gosh darn fun - in my weird, zany, LMM moments. It does, however, have to be one of those quirks that I can deal with. Hmmm . . . maybe I should find out what that is and start looking for guys that fit my quirk. Too bad I'm not supposed to be the one looking!

Sadness

I am done with my first day of Summer School! Only 19 left to go - and it's gonna go fast! And I understand that I am teaching the lazy kids who couldn't bother to do their homework during the year. But most of these kids are nice, good kids. Ok, ok. It's the first day and they are still a little scared of me but seriously!!

Sadness is, I think one of them stole $20 from another kid. During the year I maintain my sweet little obliviousness to the dumb things that they do - I don't listen to the gossip of which kid is pregnant and all that jazz (which sometimes gets me way out of the loop!). Anyway, it makes me sad. It's so dumb!!

Piles

I have just spent the majority of the afternoon (into evening) emptying my room of the many piles that have overcome it during the end of May. I am not sure when the last time that I cleaned my room was. Maybe early April, possibly sometime over Spring Break. In any case, it has not been rid of piles for much longer than that.

I think piles could be a fatality in my family. I myself have many of them: piles of laundry, piles of bills to pay, piles of holy cards (what does one do with these?). And usually while cleaning my room I come across a pile of stuff that has no place to belong.

But, not today! Hurray! No piles for Lisa today!! Yeay!

All of those little piles have found places to go - be they in a folder or a bookcase or a trashcan - they are banished from my room!

A little less rock and roll . . .

I made a decision this evening. The decision was that my blogs recently (as in the past few months cause things have been hecka busy) are too serious!! Seriously, I am a 26 year old single white female and I am too serious!

So this is my crazy and wacky post! hmm . . . I'm kindof stinking it up!! I'll try again later . . .

I want to be in love . . .

"Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance . . . nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was . . . A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie. "
~ Sleepless in Seattle

For a long time I thought that it wasn't possible to find the love we all see in movies. The love I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. Now, I know that it isn't. But, it is possible to be in love in real life. It's something that I have been blessed to witness.

I could not have pictured a more special weekend for Kristi and Andrew. I knew that it would be big and I was pretty sure it would be a lot of fun. But, as in most big things in my life, I had no idea what would happen. Months ago Kim and I sat out on our back porch and developed our plot - the big thing for the wedding - the new Daisy House tradition for the first Daisy girl's wedding. We started out with a very little idea and it became very big.

The Daisy House (Andrew included) had all fled North by Thursday evening. We had a good old fashioned Great Country Getaway cookout with Ma and Pa Rausch and headed up to the church. Kristi and Andrew wrote their prayer to Mary, Kim wrote her part of the toast and I prayed that Mary would help me give my life to her son so that His will be done in my life. Then, as a house, we sang Sanctuary. "Prepare me to be a santuary, pure and holy - tried and true." We have definitely been tried in the past and God has definitely been true to us. And we have been blessed.

Friday was a laid back day - I have to hand it to Keeks for being so prepared. There was no stress on Friday. We had fun decorating and headed to Whitey's for some grub, then back to the Rausch house to chill. The rehearsal went off without a hitch and dinner was some amazing fun. Then the bridal party headed to the DQ for some deliciousness before heading off to bed.

Saturday began very quietly. We all just kind of wandered around the house looking for things to do. It wasn't until about 11 that we realized (ok, Kristi realized) that we should get our butts in gear and actually put on our dresses and all.

The rest of the day I can't really begin to describe. Beautiful? Yes. Holy? Yes. Fun? Hell Yeah! It was perfect. And yet it was real. It was not "love in the movies" as one of my favorites describes it. It was the flesh and blood beauty of two people that are very dear to me joining their lives in front of God and those that they love. It was Christ's undying love for the Church being shown 5 feet in front of me.

Father's homily was priceless. It fit Kristi and Andrew perfectly. The flower girls were the most adorable thing I've ever seen - or held! The peaceful love felt by everyone in the room was indescribable. Watching the daisies pile up before Kristi and Andrew took my breath away - I knew I had to go last! Dollar dancing with three of my best friends in the world was something I'll never forget - I sure hope I fall hard and fast Ray! Singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and giving my roommate a hug and kiss goodbye as they drove away was funny and poignant all at the same time. Swing dancing with boys from Andale was great fun even though my arms hurt for two days afterward. Chilling with 10 of my closest friends dangling our feet in the hot tub and drinking after the wedding was a blessing.

All of this made me cry. Then Father's homily on Sunday was about being corralled by a Shepard who loves me. Not the "love in the movie" type love but the real "I died because I love you" kind of love. And as I look back on all the blessings of Kristi and Andrew's wedding, I think the biggest of all was this. Love isn't like it is in the movies. It is so much, much more. And I get to experience it for real someday. I get to be married and have my own beautiful day. But until then, I have a Man, a God, corralling me into his arms with his unfailing love.