Discernment

Discernment is such a chilling, scary word for some young Catholics. One might invision stoney cold convents with secretly silent nuns hurrying to and fro. Or perhaps some solitare monk on a mountain eating berries and praying all day.

For me, however, disernment is more than this; it is something that I am doing always. We were talking tonight - a famous Daisy House Priest by Fire night - about choosing God's Will. It seems like such an "out there" concept sometimes, and yet we continually strive for it because it will make us happy. "Where should I look for a job?" we might ask, or "When will I find my one?" "When will I know when I should date someone, at which point should we marry?" In my case right now, the question is "When do I move on?"

We were chilling out yesturday for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and Jose said, "You know, you won't be a Daisy Girl forever." There will be a new dynamic in my life someday, possibly someday very soon. The daily reflection I got today says that "God comes to us in many and various ways each day. Sometimes he reveals his goodness to us when he allows us to succeed in life. Other times he permits trials in our life so that we can cling more surely to him. The proper response to God’s constant action in our lives will only be possible if we are able to discern that it is indeed God who is acting –– We need the eyes of faith. A habitual interior attitude of faith and trust in God allows us to live with great peace and purpose."

I try to live with the eyes of faith and a trust in God. I have to give it over to him everyday and sometimes I hold more back. But at what point do we say that "here is my decision." I've heard many opinions on this from "Love God, do what you want," to "Pray about it" - my personal fav - hello, don't you think I am already doing that!, to "Follow the next step in your life."

I think that I have followed all of these in the past, a mixture of the three. When I chose moving to Wichita over staying at home, I was scared but I felt a calling. Now that I am here, I love it. But I feel something lacking. When do I go out to look for said lacking? Where do I look? Overseas or right here at home?

I don't have the answers but when I do, I'll be glad to share them with you!