Monday, January 31, 2005


I just went to see Phantom of the Opera with one of my lifelong friends. She is moving this weekend and I am sad because even though we don't hang out much, it is nice to have her around.

I've been in a reflecting mood recently and the movie was no exception. The story of a man how is not accepted for who he is and what he looks like. It is a sad and poignant story. And yet, unfortunately, it is the story of so many of us quote-on-quote undisfigured people. I think that we are all disfigured in many ways - or at least think that we are.

My weekend was amazing. I went on a Sojourn and it was great. I did not want to go on Friday. As I was driving in the snow, I just wanted to come home and sleep. But I got out there and God did the rest. Father Jarrod pointed out a verse in Song of Songs chapter 1 that says "Ah, you are beautiful . . . yes, you are lovely." I don't feel lovely. Most of the time I feel rather frumpy. I can't imagine how the Phantom felt.

The thing is, however, that God desires me no matter how broken I am. When it doesn't feel like I am good enough, he holds out his hand to me. A hand that has been pierced by a nail just because he loves me. How amazing is that? All he wants for me is to desire him the way he desires and loves me. I pray that I can give back to him - through giving to those around me - a measure of the love, the happiness that he has given me.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Power Outages . . .

So, our power went out the other day. Not for as long as some people. Ok, for 45 minutes. But, I don't know that I would have minded if it had been longer. (I know what you are thinking; "You didn't have to get up early, clean off your car and drive the icy roads to work after taking a cold shower and not being able to blow dry your hair.") Nope, I have a cushy job (ha, if you think teaching is cushy, try it for a day.

Anyway, I am totally off the subject. The power went out and I was sitting with my two roommates with the fire glowing its warmth and the french vanilla candle permeating the room with its light and its scent. We just sat there (after we did our Windsor Pilates tape workout from memory in front of the fire). We could just "be." It was so refreshing to just "be." There was no pressure that we should be doing anything. There was nothing to do. We just took cozy naps and sat and watched the fire glimmering. (can a fire glimmer).

I was almost disappointed when the lights came back on. It was, as I explained to my girls, "loud in our house." There were machines humming and lights murmuring and life trying to track us down saying "Why aren't you watching TV or playing a game or working on something for school tomorrow." And I was sad.

I think that we, as an American culture, have forgotten how to be with each other. We can't just sit and not do anything. I think that we do it more here at the Daisy House. When I went home for Christmas there was no time for "being." We had to watch this movie or that show or eat or cook or go somewhere. There was very little "being."

That is my challenge. For myself as well as for you, my reader. Take some time this weekend to "be" with your family and friends. It is relaxing. It is non-stressing. It is good.