Monday, January 31, 2005


I just went to see Phantom of the Opera with one of my lifelong friends. She is moving this weekend and I am sad because even though we don't hang out much, it is nice to have her around.

I've been in a reflecting mood recently and the movie was no exception. The story of a man how is not accepted for who he is and what he looks like. It is a sad and poignant story. And yet, unfortunately, it is the story of so many of us quote-on-quote undisfigured people. I think that we are all disfigured in many ways - or at least think that we are.

My weekend was amazing. I went on a Sojourn and it was great. I did not want to go on Friday. As I was driving in the snow, I just wanted to come home and sleep. But I got out there and God did the rest. Father Jarrod pointed out a verse in Song of Songs chapter 1 that says "Ah, you are beautiful . . . yes, you are lovely." I don't feel lovely. Most of the time I feel rather frumpy. I can't imagine how the Phantom felt.

The thing is, however, that God desires me no matter how broken I am. When it doesn't feel like I am good enough, he holds out his hand to me. A hand that has been pierced by a nail just because he loves me. How amazing is that? All he wants for me is to desire him the way he desires and loves me. I pray that I can give back to him - through giving to those around me - a measure of the love, the happiness that he has given me.

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