Monday, April 17, 2006

The Profound

We just closed up another one of those great Daisy House back porch sitting nights. And tonight was profound. I've been pondering the "bigness" of God for all of Lent; for a while now actually. How can he be that big and still love me, little Lisa from that little blue house down the street. But he does.

This little Lisa sat in her hammock in the starlit blue of breezy night - and it was as if God was holding me in his arms. There are so many things that have been going through my head the past few days. Christ's agony in the garden and his words, "Not my will but your will." I don't know where I am going to live in 2 1/2 months. This little daisy blue house won't be here then. One of my best friendsis getting married and it is beautiful and exciting . . . and sad in that way that changes things forever. One of my student's passed away yesturday. That little quiet girl who sat in the back of my sixth hour class and didn't say very much at all is no longer there.

And yet, Jesus died on the cross - a terrible death - so that he can hold me in the palm of his hand. During Sojourn in January we were sent off to write a letter to Jesus. And I couldn't get the words. I had just returned from one of our teacher's 13 year old son's funeral. So I went for a walk. What I found was a statue of Mary that I had never seen before. I've never really wandered around the SLC either, but even so. It was a statue of Our Lady of Guadelupe - an image that holds a lot of meaning for me and for the teacher who lost her son. And I went up to the rock that sits at the base of Our Lady, sat next to her, placed my head in her hand and I cried.

To imagine the depth of love that the Father has for me. A sword pierced her heart. Three nails, a bunch of thorns, and a spear pierced his body. All for me.

The world's shaking with the love of God
Great and glorious, let the whole Earth sing
And all you ever do is change the old from new
People we believe that...

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious!

Clouds are breaking, heaven's come to earth
Hearts awakening let the church bells ring
And all you ever do is change the old to new
People we believe that

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious! My glorious! My glorious! My glorious!

Thank you, Father, for choosing me to be a part of your glory.

Sunday, April 02, 2006


A year ago today, I remember sitting in my bedroom with Kimmy watching St. Peter's square as we found out that our beloved Pappa had left this world. Today, on a famous Sunny Sunday, I got to spend time with some of my favorite people in the world. We had a very starchy potluck and prayed a rosary and chaplet of divine mercy for John Paul the Great. I just left my back porch where there are even now friends gathered around the chiminea, smoking cigars, having a drink, sharing a story.

I have been given so much over the past year and a half. There are so many "legends" that have occurred that I have gotten to live through. Kim and I were planning wedding stuff yesturday (again, in the backyard - the weather is beautiful). She was telling the story of our plan later on and it just sounded so neat to be a part of.

Kristi and I went "mad shopping" today. We were looking for shoes and bought 3 skirts, 3 shirts and a pair of shoes. Let me tell you, Buy One, get one free is hard work!!

I am so blessed to have the friendships that I have. To be able to sit back and be. I was watching the firelight and listening to the conversations and daydreaming. It seems God has given me to OK to daydream about my future. The thing is, my daydream was and is very much of a reality. I want to spend my life deeply enjoying the company of those around me.